D'Arvit

I haven’t realized that I’ve abandoned this Blog and allowed it to gather dust for the past… well…past few weeks. I guess I’ve become a “mood” Blogger. [Translate: I only blog when I'm in the mood.]

A lot of things have happened since my last entry.. But I guess they’re not really significant.

Oh yeah… I just turned 17 last June 22. Belated Happy Birthday to me.
Funny… a lot of people knew it was my birthday last Tuesday. Somehow, the “news” spread like wildfire, so once in a while, as I walked along the corridors in school, a somehow-distant, “far-away” voice would call out: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM!!!!!!”. I even had this friend, whom I really never talked to anymore. We have turned into “ocassional” friends. [Translate: We only text each other every Christmas, New Year, Valentine's, Easter.. etc..] Funny thing, after like, many, many months without communication, he still managed to greet me. That is so sweet. I wouldn’t do that if I were in his place, *lol*.

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I’m so damn friggin’ old.

And I hate it.

I guess I’m just afraid of taking up new responsibilities.
I guess I’m just afraid of growing up….

You know what, sometimes, I feel like I’m a 13 year-old soul stuck in a 17 year-old body. It just sucks. I don’t want to grow old. I don’t want to get older. I wanna stay sixteen forever. I remember last year, when I turned sixteen, everyone was like, “Yikeee, Sweet Sixteen!” My blatantly annoyed reply was, “What’s so ‘sweet’ about being sixteen???!!!”
[Steph, I think we had this in one of our past conversations...]

But now, I do know.

The past year has been the best so far. I’ve learned a lot, met a lot of new people… And yes, I made a lot of mistakes. Yes, it was one HECK of a HELL year for me. There were times last year when I felt so stressed and depressed that I wanted to just curl up in a corner and die. The past year gave me the highest and the lowest points in my life. But I do not regret having gone through all that hardship. I am thankful that I’ve experienced those things… It just shows that just like everybody else, I’m not perfect; I’m human. And I guess that has made me a better person today.

Thank you for making my “sixteen” sweet…..

But what the heck???!!!

What am I saying???!!!

Oh, I guess I got carried away by my emotions.

Anyway, I hope that this year would be the BEST!!!
It’s my last year in high school, and I swear, I’m gonna make the most out of it.

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I’m gonna be really busy for the coming weeks…. So I guess it’ll be another LONG while ’til I update my blog. But what the hell…. I guess nobody’s visiting this place anyway. [Which is a GOOD thing. I guess I can get back to being a bit "personal" in my entries.]