D'Arvit

This time, last year, I was in Chicago.

Around this time last year was the first time I ever left everything and everyone back in the Philippines.

Looking back, do I have any regrets?

None.

It was a bumpy ride, and a very very difficult move. You just don’t go move to another country just for the heck of it [well maybe some people do]. It doesn’t work that way all the time. Not for me, at least.

You don’t just move away from your comfort zone. You don’t just leave the place where you’re actually a somebody: where people know you and think highly of you; where your achievements go everywhere with you. Where you know that your friends are within physical reach and are always going to be there for you. You don’t just move to a strange land, where you have to start from the very bottom again as a nobody.

There were times when I’ve asked myself why I came with my parents in the first place. Sometimes, I just forget the reason. Maybe there wasn’t even one.

I just wanted to. Last year, I wrote:

The thing is, the idea of something new excites me too. Change is not always unpleasant; there are some things in life, some changes that you wish to reject, but have grown to look forward to, even love. I am not saying that I expect that the best is already waiting for me there; my point is, the suspense is thrilling and that sweet, romantic thrill of the Unknown is also very exciting. I am sure this whole thing won’t be totally easy, though. The thing is, I’m glad I was able to see things in a better, more positive light–it makes parting with you guys much easier to bear. Let’s also not forget the idea that we’ll see each other again in a few month’s time anyway–for me, that is a very comforting thought.

Sometimes in life, we have to make sacrifices. Sometimes we just have to lose things, leap into the unknown, abandon routine and take risks in order to make room for new experiences. For what reason? I don’t know.

I remember Sam telling Frodo that:

“I seem to see ahead, in a kind of way. I know we are going to take a very long road… but I know I can’t turn back. It isn’t to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains, that I want–I don’t rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead… I must see it through, sir, if you understand me.”
– Samwise Gamgee, in J.R.R. Tolkein’s Fellowship of the Ring

This journey has been quite the ride, and I know that I have grown as a person. I’ve been to places that I’ve never expected to be, I’ve lived in a strange new city, I’ve met people that I otherwise would have never met, and I’ve done things that I have never tried before. I have come to the realization that yes, I do really really LIVE here. Back then, I felt as if my life in here is just the dream, and I would wake up to the reality back in the Philippines, and find myself in my old room, in my old bed… just the way it had always been. Gradually, I realized that my “reality” lies in here.

And because my “reality” is in here, why not make the most out of it and kick their “American-idiot” asses in all things intellectual?

It’s been a year now. Here’s to many more better days!

Cheers!

PS: Thanks for the great response to my last blog entry. I never expected that people still read my stuff, since you guys are now back and busy as ever.